As a parent are you in joy in yourself?!
Make time for self-care, for me-time, and you might find the rest of the family enjoys themselves more too.
Super-Tired Super Mums (and Dads)
There’s no denying that parenting is demanding and life can be tiring. Whole days can evaporate without a minute to draw breath or grab any ‘me time’.
Wild Daddy and I got together in our mid-30s and planned to have 3 children in 3 years…..WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!!!
I was so comprehensively poleaxed by the fatigue of motherhood that I couldn’t even consider trying for another baby until Caroline was about three. Massive parental sleep deprivation seems to be one of the pitfalls of modern society.
Wild Parents
Parenting outdoor kids can be doubly exhausting. They might not sit in front of screens as much as other kids and what they do get up, they seem to create extra work; muddy, wet, sandy stuff, mountains of wellies, messy artwork, paint-stained carpets, mucky fingerprints, even snail trails in the bath.
More work for us super-frazzled wild parents!
Think Oxygen
This is a great mantra for parenting and life, especially for new Mums! Check out aircraft cabin decompression instructions: –
“Remember to secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others with theirs.”
In basic terms, you are no good to anyone if you pass out!
Apply this to family life and it simply means looking out for Number 1. Properly.
Ensure your own needs are met, with respect for your nearest and dearest and you’ll better meet the needs of your children.
I call it Oxygen Time and happily, lots of it involves time outside in the wild, even if that’s in your garden or a green space on a tea break at work.
Make Time for Oxygen
Oxygen is nature’s elixir of life – without it we die – so Oxygen Time serves as a great metaphor for the moments we allow ourselves to keep our bodies and minds active, healthy and alive.
Whether you can squeeze in a minute or a weekend, there are plenty of things to help you feel rejuvenated and invigorated.
Here are some ideas to help restore energy and balance in family life. You could reap huge rewards in your interactions with your children, and everyone else.
There are dozens of ways of taking care of ourselves as women, men, parents. Here are just a few of my favourites.
Walk – in fresh air; up and down the street, in a park or to school/work occasionally instead of driving. Gentle activity and exercise is good for the mind, body and soul. Just 5 minutes can make all the difference.
Smile – Charles Darwin first suggested links between smiling and happiness but don’t take his word for it, just do it
Breathe– don’t hunch, imagine raising your ribcage a tiny fraction and gently breathe, widening your ribs rather than lifting your shoulders to inhale. Find some happy air to breathe in
Move your body – stressed-out wild animals often shake, stamp or leap around to clear stress hormones after fight, flight or freeze reflexes. Do the same! Shake, jump, trampoline, run upstairs. Or put on a CD and dance wildly for 5 minutes, just get active
Gardening – this gets us into the fresh air, directly connecting us with nature and also gets good bacteria into our systems which is another reason that gardening is great for immunity. If you’re not green-fingered sit outside anywhere with your favourite cuppa
Look – find a view and soak it up. Staring into the distance relaxes the eyes, especially after close-up work. Try bird spotting or cloud gazing
Go barefoot – 5 minutes spent barefoot on grass helps relax and ground the body, connecting us with our natural rhythms. Try a barefoot walk at the beach.
Tea and a book – brew a herbal tea and read a chapter. Pukka are currently one of the few companies producing plastic-free teabags. Yes, plastic is everywhere; one of my pet hates. More on that here
Grown-up colouring – I re-discovered the relaxation of colouring when Caroline was old enough to start it and I have not been surprised since, at how quickly the market for grown-up colouring has expanded
Meditate – a calm mind = a happier outlook. A wise man once said “If you can’t make time to meditate for 5 minutes a day then meditate for 15 minutes.” Balance is a great App which is currently free for the first year, or try CDs at home, set up or join a group
Yoga – many yoga poses are based on animals or grounded in nature
Write – journalling is a great way to relax. Choose a topic and write for 10 minutes without stopping, whatever comes into your head
Sleep – set an alarm, find somewhere quiet but don’t worry if you can’t nod off, just enjoy the solitude
Bathe – bring the ocean inside with a relaxing sea salt bath. I use Tidmans, Epsom or magnesium salts
Take a Shower – being a parent of the wild you’ll be outdoors lots and therefore showering lots too! Make this a mindful experience during even the briefest shower. Close your eyes and come up with a mantra e.g. ‘as I cleanse my body, so purify my mind and help me this day my……to find’ inserting whatever word comes to mind and letting it be your thought for the day. Mine is often ‘patience’! Why not try turning the heat down for a 60 second blast of cold water therapy after your shower?!
Mindfulness – the link between all the above is mindfulness – taking a few moments to breathe, think about ourselves and make a brief, 5-minute change to our day
Light a fire – a recent day in the woods with like-minded parents reminded me how good it feels to make fire and cook outdoors. We made a shared pot-luck soup with ingredients brought by each family but there’s no reason not to light a mini fire in the garden just for you. Once you’ve got the skill, it’s a fun family activity that helps kids learn about risk and safety
Go Wild
So what’s stopping you? Close this blog right now, choose something from the list and take some Oxygen Time for YOU. Your family and children can only benefit.
Having personally struggled to claw back me-time without feeling guilty for ‘neglecting’ family life, I can honestly say wild (relaxed) Mums & Dads rock!
For more scientific research on why getting outdoors is good for both our mental health and our children’s development read 11 reasons to get into the wild now.
Join Kids of the Wild
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Wild wishes for some oxygen time in nature every day to help keep us wild parents energised and calm for when the parenting challenges mount up!
Get the gear!
Click on the images to find great prices at Amazon for some soul-soothing, me-time goodies.
Pukka plastic-free herbal teabags
The Lost Spells book
(perfect for reading in nature, at the dinner table or before bed)
Happy Self Teens/Adult journal
(Caroline and I have used both of these journals and found them insightful and inspiring)
Happy Self Kids Journal
Epsom salts
Feel Better in 5 book
thats something I’ve always said ‘a happy parent, makes for happy kids’
Amen. Easier said than done though, a lot of the time.
I love this post. As someone who also had 3 kids in 3 years (allbeit I was in my early twenties) I get the need for oxygen , literal and metaphorical. Spoiler alert….once they’re teenagers it’s pretty plain sailing *touch wood…grabs lucky rabbits foot etc .
I’m a huge advocate of tea and a book and writing and adult colouring in too!! #blogcrush
Wow well done you, 3 in 3 years is hardcore! Glad the teens are more calm ..or shouldn’t I have said that out loud?!
Just this morning, I was experiencing parent fatigue. Both of my kids are sick and so all three of us are under “house arrest”. They’re both under four years old by the way. I needed to read this, I am so glad to come across your blog through #BlogCrush.
I hope you’re all feeling perky and vital again soon. It’s tough being stuck indoors with poorly little ones. Hopefully you can grab a few minutes oxygen time if they nod off?! Otherwise a film might do the trick! Thanks for reading and glad it’s been of use to you x
You’re absolutely right, I should spend more time on me, especially outside. I do exercise regularly but it’s not quite the same thing. #blogcrush
Exercise is a great start though. We need more outdoor gyms, perhaps if we had more predictable weather! Thanks for reading
I have to say I do love to go barefoot, particularly at my Mum’s where there is lots of grass and fields of animals around to listen to! #blogcrush
Sounds wonderful – I try to get on the lawn every day but it can be blooming cold in a winter frost! Thanks for stopping by
Totally agree, we need to take that time. It can be sooo exhausting looking after toddlers the entire week, with no break. They have an infinite reserve of energy… until they run out and then they have a meltdown. When they finally sleep is the only time we have to work and then before you know it they’re awake again and you haven’t slept enough! Taking the time to recharge is a really sensible thing to do and I hope I can do it as well. For some reason really like the bare feet thing when walking in parks too 🙂 #blogcrush
Love your ethos on shared parenting and great to hear from you, your blogs look fab, I need more time to read all this great stuff! I’d be barefoot everywhere if I could
Such wise words. I love the idea of Oxygen Time – I might be stealing that phrase! And I also like your way of saying “find some happy air to breathe in”. I definitely feel better when I’ve been outside and try to get out everyday with the kids, even when it’s pouring with rain. #blogcrush
Thanks Lucy, I need to push the Oxygen Time thing as I love the phrase too!
This is such a great read Lucy. When my kids were very small I was terrible at taking time out for myself but I’m learning that me taking care of myself benefits the whole family. I’m learning the importance of replenishing the cup! And, I too am a massive fan of colouring in and doodling! 😊
It’s interesting that so many of us find it hard to take time for ourselves and it takes so long to learn it. Social conditioning I guess. Love your date hike weekends too!
I’ve wanted to rad this post for a long time, and I’m so happy you just shared it on #CountryKids! Funnily enough, I really needed to read this today. The past month has been hectic and often stressful, so much that for the first time in years, we didn’t celebrate Midsummer outdoors this weekend. So now I’m going to follow your advice and go for a nap! Here’s to Oxygen Time!
Well that was a connection needing to be made as the reason I posted it is because we didn’t celebrate midsummer outside either this year either! I was feeling really under par but thought ‘you know, we don’t have to do all these special celebrations just because of the time of year, we sometimes need to take some time for the things we actually need in the moment.’ Glad it reached you anyway, we’re obviously on a solstice wavelength! Wild wishes for some calm in the madness xx
What a fabulous post!! I love the oxygen mask analogy! It’s a bit like the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup!” #CountryKids
Absolutely. So much common sense but so difficult to achieve in reality.
I love this reminder of the importance of making time for ourselves too and oxygen time is such a great way to describe it. It’s funny how it can be so difficult sometimes to make that time and recharge our own batteries a little – even just a few minutes can make all the difference. Getting out for a walk, writing or singing tend to be my ways of getting oxygen time but I’ve got a few more ideas now of other ways that I can grab a little moment for myself too 🙂 #CountryKids
Thanks for this Louise, way back in July last year. For some reason a lot of unread comments have just popped up in my feed!
Some really good tips, I’m off tomorrow for a few days walking with my best friend, I might even get a lie in, can’t remember what one of those is! #countrykids
Hope you enjoyed that lie in many months ago. For some reason this was marked as an unread comment and only just popped up in my feed!
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