What happens when we lose inspiration to do the things we love?
Stress Marathon
My recent blogging absence mirrors a stress reaction to Caroline’s cancer. Once I felt Caroline was finally ‘safe’ after a year in fight or flight mode through her treatment, I hit a brick wall of ‘freeze’, the third primeval stress response. Quoting a friend; “You’ve run the marathon and now you’ve collapsed at the finishing line both physically and emotionally.”
Life Gives Us What We Can Handle
The repercussions of childhood cancer are lifelong for the whole family. A spiritual director told me life gives us everything we need for our learning whilst only giving what we can handle. So I know I can cope, it’s just working out how! Step 1 was a break from writing.
This re-evaluation of life has shone a light on actually how hard it is to motivate when we’re low. My life’s foundational belief is in the spiritually healing power of getting outdoors, connecting with nature and making everyday adventures. Yet here I was with a desire for nothing more than hours sat in front of the TV – my pre-cancer pet hate. On a positive, it got me thinking about how to better reach those whose lives don’t include ‘outdoors’.
Conversely, Caroline’s needs probably kept me going during this time. Despite my desire to hide inside, my soul knew that healing lay in nature, so we kept going out. Not as often, not for long and not with much joy on my part but putting one foot in front of the other, believing it was right even though the feeling was gone (and unknowingly drawing on my own ‘wisdom’ and starting in the garden!)
We had a lawn picnic, fed and watched the birds, rescued worms and watched the season unfold.
Blogging Support
Whilst other areas of my life demanded attention, I side-lined writing, my creative outlet. Support was at hand. Sophie at Old House in the Shires provided genuine inspiration with her brilliant #MyGloriousGardens, a timely reminder of how much gardening means to me and how neglected mine has become. A sunny afternoon rearranging pots and clearing the patio was great therapy (despite the same lack of joy) – I knew it was doing me good inside.
Annette at Four Acorns was another great support with her like-minded and inspirational blog based in Ireland. Her spirit of adventure and zest for life kept my eyes on the fact I could and would get back outdoors in time.
Finally, #CountryKids run by the fab Fiona at Coombe Mill, who has been a great source of inspiration and advice since I started blogging, helped to maintain contact with others’ outdoor journeys, reminding me how important Kids of the Wild is to inspire families to get outdoors. The final push to write again was winning a pair of wellies in Fiona’s ‘best post of the month’ for May, with my report of our Cornwall visit raising childhood cancer awareness in Perranporth.
MASSIVE thanks to these inspirational outdoor women writers. You and all my readers kept me afloat in the storm.
What Now?
The Wildlife Trusts’ #30DaysWild (a random act of wildness every day in June) came at a perfect time, providing the impetus to get outdoors even for 5 minutes, to focus on nature’s healing power. Here’s some of our random wildness so far..
Random acts of Wildness for #30DaysWild
Little Steps
So life has given me what I need to keep the spark alight! My posts may be less often but Kids of the Wild is still alive.
The summer plan is to slowly write my series on Things to do at the Beach, more focus on childhood cancer, reviewing how to reach families who aren’t already outdoorsy, product reviews, more nature notes, gentle adventures, another giveaway and hopefully the return of joy.
Gratitude
Thank you to all my readers for your support and patience; wild wishes to you all!
Outdoor Inspiration
Find more inspiration to get outdoors or into nature in these posts on Kids of the Wild: –
11 Reasons to Get into the Wild NOW
At home – 17 Ways to Connect with Nature at Home
In the garden – Go Wild in the Garden – 25 Ways to Connect with Nature in Your Garden
Outdoors in the wild – 30 Super Cool Ideas for Outdoor Family Fun
Lucy who blogs over at MrsHsFavouriteThings.com has written this lovely post on the worries of parenting as an adult with depression. Worth a read if you’re struggling too.
You’re awesome
Thanks Mark, you’ve been a big inspiration too, outside of blogging, as have many others in my life. See you at forest school!
Thank you for reminding us all of the importance of connecting with nature, and to build up our reserves in case of times of famine. Those photos of your children are pure gold. I think it is also valuable to highlight that reserves run low and we can’t always help ourselves. Maybe bravery runs out? And that is what it is to be human. Sending much love. X
Thank you Ali for those wise words we’d all do well to live by. Here’s to being human!! XX
What a kind mention yet it is you, my lovely who inspires me with your love for life and spirit in hard times. When I first read your blog I didn’t realise that your little one was battling cancer. I just loved your blog for its freshness and the activities you did with your family! I then read more and was amazed that this lovely family were doing all these amazing things even when your little girl was poorly. Blogging is a strange game of getting to know people through what they wish to share; seeing snippets of their life through a lens or carefully written word but then there are the stories and people who inspire. I’m glad that nature, the outdoors and your garden have given you strength or an outlet to breathe. I feel the same way; it’s my soul. Take care lovely lady. Xxx
Gosh thanks Sophie, that’s so nice to hear and quite unexpected. I’m now intrigued by the psychology of inspiration since we’re inspiring each other! You really did get me back in the garden and it’s been such a boost XX
Lucy, your heartfelt post has me lost for words and with tears prickling my eyes. It was so unexpected to see my name mentioned here as your blog is so inspiring. I have often wondered over the past year how you managed to keep going, so it is truly an honour if my blog helped you in a small way. You will soon find your way back to joy, I’m sure, but even warriors like yourself need to rest and recharge. Sending much love across the Irish Sea for you and your family xx
Annette
Thank you Annette, it felt really important to acknowledge you, Sophie and Fiona as you really have helped in the last couple of months. Joey at Cool of the Wild and Tracy at Green Mums have been great blogging support throughout but you guys have been fab just recently. Feeling that Irish joy already!! x
Thank you for the lovely mention and most importantly I’m thrilled to have been of some help at such a difficult time in your life. I feel I have known you for so long even though we have never met and felt for you so much through the months of Caroline’s treatment. It could so easily have been any one of mine, I’d like to think I would handle it as well as you have. You too are an inspiration and I hope you will never stop writing about the things you have learned and what you believe in. Remember all that you have and hold is the essence of life and that joy will spring from there. xx
Thanks Fiona, I’m so blown away by your comments. I can only say thank you again for your support and inspiration. Hope to finally meet you over the summer xx
It’s fascinating how our brains cope with stress isn’t it? I know a few people who have described a very similar response to you following an intense period in their lives. I like you find being outdoors very restorative and hope that it’ll continue to nurture you and your family back to full strength x
Thank you Sarah. It is fascinating and also frustrating. The body is clearly over-riding the mind and making us slow down, evaluate and potentially recover but in many ways it’s not terribly helpful. Like the way a pregnant body prepares itself for the sleepless nights of a new baby by giving us.. sleepless nights during pregnancy. But I think a period of slowing down and taking stock is very much needed after prolonged stress, I just wish it wasn’t such an intense brick wall. Thanks for sharing your thoughts x
You’ve been on such a journey and it’s no wonder you sidelined your blog for a while. It’s also great that we’re all surrounded by loads of inspirational people to gee us up just when we need it. This post has certainly gee’d me up! Thanks for joining us on #adventurecalling
Thanks David, the blogging community is really supportive. Unexpected by me since it’s essentially social media but has been a great help. Hopefully I’ll have something more active for the next linky!
Not that I’ve experienced the ups and downs that you have, but I find my motivation wanes depending on what else is going on. I too have found the blogging community a great source of inspiration and support, it’s good having that constant-even when life is anything but. I love reading your posts and look forward to seeing how being outdoors and in nature is so beneficial. Thank you for sharing with us #AdventureCalling
Thanks Lauren, it’s good to hear that others get blogging motivation issues even without big life stresses going on! Thanks for your support and the fab #adventurecalling
I am glad you are feeling well enough to start writing and the blog will live on.
Nice you got the benefit of tidying the patio.
Coping mechanisms are not always easy to it is not at all easy to think we only get what we can cope with – but that does make it any easier at the time.
Thanks Elaine, writing is still proving a challenge but I’ll get there in the end.
So glad that you are finding getting outdoors so therapeutic. I can imagine how having had that year of being in “flight or fight” has left you feeling like you’ve collapsed at the finished line. Trying to find motivation to write in that situation can be so hard – even when it’s your creative outlet. Nature can be very healing though and it sounds like it is helping you find that inspiration once again x #countrykids
Thanks Louise, it certainly feels like I’m making little steps forward again. (I see you’re awake at horrible o’clock too. Sending love. What you’re going through is so difficult) x
Because this post still is one of the best I’ve read lately, I couldn’t help reading it again. Hope the healing has well and truly started, and that motivation is coming back. Lots of love,
Annette xx
#CountryKids
Ah, thanks Annette! Definitely getting back on track but nice and slowly with less pressure on myself. And the sunshine helps though I don’t think we’re as hot as you guys this week. Thanks for your encouragement x