If you’re after something different to do with the kids over half term, a Mexican cultural Day of the Dead parade might be just the thing, and it’s the opposite of the melancholy event it sounds. We’ve been to one and it was great fun.
Taking place around the UK in October and November, you won’t miss out even if half term has finished where you live. There’s a link to events at the bottom of the page.
When I started writing this I wasn’t sure if it was about celebration, death, religion, fun, things to do with kids, culture, Halloween or what! In the end it’s about them all.
Mexico was my home for 7 months back in 2002 but I sadly missed the experience and culture of Day of the Dead as I was on a road trip from Arizona to Tulum on the day. We arrived in Guadalajara very late and exhausted. At the time I didn’t realise how huge a cultural festival it was or I’d have made the effort to join in.
In Mexico and South America, Day of the Dead or Dia de Los Muertos, is a much more cultural and spiritual celebration than our over-commercialised Halloween. People remember and mourn their dead ancestors, relatives and friends with bright and colourful altar shrines including candles, marigolds, photos of loved ones. Sweet treats like candy sugar skulls have become traditional since the 1900s.
It’s for family AND kids; children aren’t shielded from death. The festival is also full of joy and fun with carnival-like parades at many celebrations to remind us that death does not diminish the love we had nor the importance our lost loved ones still have in our lives.
We don’t talk about death in the same way over here. I have a big issue with the taboo of death especially around children. It is a part of the cycle of everyday life, a ritual, a rite of passage. Children should know about death and not be frightened of it. There are posts lined up in my head for airing one of these days!
As UK Hallowe’en is just for fun I love the idea of an extra festival that remembers our dead with respect, love, colour and fun.
It is with poignant irony that Caroline and I attended our first Day of the Dead festival (in Lincoln, 2016) with my best friend, Julia, just five months before she lost her six-year battle with cancer.
It wasn’t a huge parade, just a couple of hundred people and four or five exuberant entertainers. The giant skeleton puppet of Catrina fascinated all the children as we followed the parade around cobbled Lincoln streets, clapping, singing and with a little bemusement too.
Skeletons are often a thing of fear for kids yet this one was clad in coloured flowers. We realised we hadn’t explained to our seven year old girls the significance of it. No wonder they were bemused! (Catarina is a 20th century addition to Dia de Los Muertos celebrations, introduced from a satirical Mexican artwork of the era mocking those indigenous people who tried to dress in the European style and powder their faces white.)
Caroline took a liking to Catrina and everything about the Dia de Los Muertos event. This year she’s made quite an elaborate Catrina costume for our neighbourhood trick or treat on Halloween!
Back in Lincoln after the parade there were Mexican crafts in a shop off the High Street. The girls coloured in sugar skull masks to take home and there was sugar skull face painting. There was also an altar shrine (main photo) to show what they are like in South America.
Find a Day of the Dead Celebration Near You
A slightly random place to find a list of party events, the FuneralZone website has a fairly comprehensive diary of UK Dia de Los Muertos cultural celebrations. They’ve also got a lot more detail about Day of the Dead if you’d like more info.
Diary Dates
31st October
Hallowe’en (or All Hallows Eve)
01st November
All Saint’s Day (Christian remembrance of the Saints)
02nd November
All Soul’s Day (Christian remembrance of the dead)
Day of the Dead/Dia de Los Muertos (South American remembrance of the dead)
Holy Halloween or Satanic Satire
Commercial as it is, I have enjoyed Halloween since childhood (though it wasn’t nearly as commercial back then). I am also Catholic and am amused by the number of Christians who regard Hallowe’en as a devil-worshipping, satanic festival – devil worshipping is devil-worshipping people; Hallowe’en (Hallows Evening) stems from a Christian vigil on the eve of All Saint’s Day, which in itself may have piggy-backed onto the pagan Celtic festival of Samhain which celebrates the end of summer.
Hallow or Hallows means holy or sacred, which is far from how we regard Hallowe’en these days!
For information on the origins of Hallowe’en read more here – and maybe next year I’ll do a post about it.
November Dead List Matchbox Craft
Because Caroline was so taken with all things Mexican we looked up some craft ideas and found this lovely ‘Our Lady of Guadalupe’ decorated matchbox.
Caroline decorated this herself two years ago
Read my memory box tutorial on how to make your own.
The Catholic Church has a tradition of creating a November Dead List. Rather bleak sounding isn’t it? A bit like Day of the Dead. People are encouraged to add the names of dead relatives and friends to a list to be prayed for during the whole month of November.
In line with my views on teaching children about death, we decided to make Caroline’s matchbox a ‘Dia de Los Muertos dead list box’, and once she’d painted it we wrote out a little card for each of our lost relatives, friends and even pets. We add to it, sadly, whenever someone else close to us dies.
It was awful adding Julia’s name to it, but Caroline drew a little angel on the card and because the box is Mexican themed it always takes me back to that day, one of our last few together.
We’re planning to go to a Day of the Dead celebration in Newcastle this year to remember Julia and celebrate the cycle of death with friendship, laughter, dancing and life.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on Day of the Dead and helping children think about and deal with death. Do you talk to your kids about death?
Click the links for some fab Halloween ideas, pumpkin picking, pumpkin carving and a brilliant trick or treat idea invented by Caroline.
Day of the Dead Discovery
Why not plan your own Dia de Los Muertos party if there isn’t one near you? Click the images for Amazon prices on these great party and gift ideas.
I really like the look of this, like Halloween but different. It looks more respectful of lives lost but equally lots of fun. Those sugar masks are a work of art, as are the face paints. #CountryKids
The respect and thought for the dead is what I love about it, especially with the colour and fun. We’re doing a bit of a combo this year. Caroline really loves everything about it do her Halloween costume is Catarina!
My wife, children and I are Catholic too. Every year we put on a “Night of Light” event in the NE of England (Newcastle this year, at 3:30pm tomorrow) in which we encourage the children to dress up as saints and say a bit about their saint as part of a saints’ parade. Some of the adults also dress up. After a time of prayer, a sermon and a couple of hymns, we have a candlelit procession outdoors and pray for our deceased loved ones at the foot of the cross. Our pumpkins have hearts, crosses and other Christian symbols carved into them. We have party games, hot dogs, mulled wine, cakes, a bonfire and fireworks. Thus we try to offer a light-filled, wholesome version of Halloween, All Souls and Guy Fawkes all in one. You’re most welcome to join us! Just contact me at “paul@hammond.me” if interested.
In terms of the List of the Dead, we take it a stage further and every November get out photos of our deceased relatives, friends, pastors, etc. and display them on a step-ladder in our house, with candles alongside and a statue of the Resurrected Jesus on the top, representative of the stairway to heaven. Each evening we try to remember and pray for these loved ones.
Wow Paul, all these things sound wonderful. I love how you’re melding it all together and all of it is truly family friendly and spiritual. I confess to having my issues with a lot of the direction organised religion has taken over the years but this kind of thing is what could bring people to a more spiritual understanding. Unfortunately we’re busy tomorrow but many thanks for getting in touch and I hope you have a lovely time.
I had no idea there were day of the dead celebrations in the U.K. my children and I loved the film Coco last year and as it helped the festival be accessible for children to understand. As for Halloween it has turned from All ahallows Eve into something quite different and I’d be happy if it stopped in its current form. Mich x
Coco’s on my Christmas list! Actually I’d planned to add it to this post. It’s the most watched and highest grossing film in Mexico apparently, possibly because of the way it respectfully portrays Dia De Los Muertos. Whilst I love the family aspect of Halloween, I find the commercialism (and it’s massive use of plastic) is sad. I’d love to see Day of the Dead become more widespread here, and start us talking about and remembering our dead with spirituality, and to get back to more of the real reason we celebrated Halloween in the first place . Lovely to hear your thoughts xx
What a great post. I had no idea there were Day of the Dead events in the UK. I also find it really interesting how the pagan and religious festivals have merged with time and the significance of all the different elements #CountryKids
I love that so many pagan and Christian rituals are merged, it really links us all as people instead of separating us into religions! Thanks for reading, it’s really worth finding a good parade or festival to go to, they’re great fun.
I had no idea that there were celebrations in this country. I will have to remember that for the future. We’ve always spoken openly about death with my son, maybe that’s because we are older parents but I don’t see it as something that we shouldn’t talk about either #countrykids
There are some events on next weekend, depending where you live. Good to hear you talk about death too, I think it’s really important. Thanks for reading
I love this idea, teaching the children that life has a cycle that includes death, in a fun celebration.
We do discuss death with the grown children and the grandchildren, the older two at 15 and 12 have been to a few funerals of close adult friends.
When I go the music that is requested as I go through the curtains to get cremated is The Wonderful thing about Tigger….cos I love Tigger. #countrykids
Brilliant Elaine, I have a wonderful vision of you bouncing along the highway to heaven on a stripey tail! Thanks for stopping by
I prefer the sound of the Mexican Day of the Dead celebrations to our Halloween ones. Death is something that we aren’t very open about in our culture and I think we could learn a lot from other cultures with this. I would certainly agree that death doesn’t diminish the love we have for those who have passed on or mean that they are any less important in our lives. When Jessica died, we were very open with Sophie about it all – she was there at the hospital when Jessica passed away, she spent time with us and her sister afterwards and she was there at the burial.
The Day of the Dead celebrations look like such a wonderful way to celebrate and remember loved ones. I love Catrina with all her pretty flowers. Love the face painting too. How poignant it must have been for you to lose your best friend so soon after attending this with her. The matchbox is a lovely way to write down and remember people. I might try doing something like this with Sophie at some point. I like the Catholic tradition of having a month dedicated to remembering those we have lost. We will be lighting a candle for Jessica on All Souls’ Day and taking time to think about her. #CountryKids
Thanks for your heartfelt comments Louise, it sounds like you’ve got some lovely ways of remembering Jessica. It’s great to hear that Sophie has been there through all the heartbreak too. It’s so important for children to understand and as you say so lacking in our culture. I think we’ll start lighting a candle for all our loved ones too on All Souls Day. Thanks for the suggestion. X
In the US, Day of the Dead is becoming commercialized instead of being respectful to those who have passed. Your kiddos looked like they enjoyed creating the masks. #countrykids
I wondered that. It’s such a shame when commercialisation takes away the true purpose and meaning of something so important. It will probably happen here too. I guess we all need to work on our own personal rituals and ignore mass marketing. Thanks for your comments, it’s really interesting to hear about these events in America. And yes the girls had a blast x
I really like the aesthetics of the Day of the Dead decorations, with the sugar skulls etc, but have never looked into it properly. I guess I’ve found it a bit too frightening, despite the beauty of it. Your post really helps making it feel more approachable and it seems like something we could enjoy, too. Thank you! X #CountryKids
I reckon Penguin could really enjoy it. The parade might be full on depending how he copes in crowds but doing something calm at home would be great I’d think. Day of the Dead doesn’t sound like a gentle ritual of remembrance, it definitely has a scary aspect if you don’t know the culture. Thanks for reading
I think your spot-on, the crowds could be too much (I’m not great with crowds either to be honest, at least not when I’ve got more than myself to worry about), but we can still integrate some aspects of Day of the Dead in things we do xx
It does so frustrate me that some Christians believe that Halloween is celebrating evil over good! I agree with your sentiments. We put up a few decorations in our house – sugar skulls bunting and we considered watching Coco. #CountryKids
Our celebration is now a complete mix of both traditions and we had a lovely evening yesterday. Thanks for reading x
i had no idea there were celebrations in the UK – so interesting to find out more about it. We’re planning to watch Coco this weekend and I can’t wait! #countrykids
No spoilers please, I’ve got to wait until Christmas to see it. Thanks for reading
It’s interesting how these non-British celebrations are taking off in the UK. Thanks to the Frida Kahlo exhibition at the V and A, and the film, Coco, Mexican culture has become fashionable over here, and I’m not surprised to see these celebrations taking off even more. I love the idea of the dead finding a path to come back for a moment. It gives me great comfort. Thanks for linking with #CULTUREDKIDS
I love that it’s coming over here as it has such a gentle way of remembering the dead but I fear it will become over-commericalised as so many things do. I sound like my Mum…! Thanks for hosting your fab linky
I once attended a Day of the Dead party at a University, which was very joyful, with lots of dancing. But I hadn’t realised there are parades and family friendly events in the UK. I will look into for next year. Having rituals for remembering loved ones can really help with grief, and unfortunately I don’t have many in my life. I do light a candle each time we visit a church and spend a few minutes thinking of those I’ve loved and lost. #CulturedKids
I love the idea of more rituals and customs in life, we’ve lost so many and it helps bring rhythm and flow to life. That party sounds wonderful!
This is a fascinating post, and I love the meaning behind Day of the Dead, and how actually celebrating those we have lost. I am not too keen on how Halloween as become (sweetie and plastic fest!) Thank you so much for linking to #culturedkids
I agree, the sweets and plastic at Halloween are appalling now. Day of the Dead is a really lovely custom to embrace. Thanks for sharing
I had no idea that the Day of the Dead was celebrated in the UK, it sounds so much better than Hallowe’en which has come to mean plastic tat and cheap sweets. #CulturedKids
I totally agree. But I bet we’ll be saying that about Day of the Dead in 20 years time! Thanks for reading