Wild Daddy and I got together in our mid-30s and as ‘geriatric parents’ planned to have 3 children in 3 years…..WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!!!
I was so comprehensively poleaxed by the fatigue of glorious Motherhood that I couldn’t even consider trying for another baby until Caroline was about three. Massive parental sleep deprivation is a pitfall of modern society.
There’s no denying the constant demands of parenting, and life itself is tiring. Whole days can evaporate without a minute to draw breath or grab any precious me-time.
Adventure parenting
Parenting outdoor kids can be doubly exhausting. All that outside wildness inevitably creates extra work; muddy/wet/sandy stuff, mountains of wellies, messy artwork, bloody injuries, paint-stained carpets, mucky fingerprints, even snail trails in the bath. Yep, we’ve had all these at KOTW HQ!!
More stress for already super-frazzled parents!
Super-tired super Mums (and Dads)
Are you enjoying yourself as a parent? Are you in joy in yourself?
And how do you find ways to recharge?
When we make time for self-care, for ‘me-time,’ we almost invariably discover that our balanced energy means the rest of the family becomes happier too.
Time to think Oxygen
If you check out the cabin safety instructions on any aircraft it says something along these lines: –
Secure your own oxygen mask before assisting children/others
Basically; you can’t help anyone else if you’ve already passed out!
“Secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others”
Apply this to family life and it means looking after Number One. Properly. My fabulous Naturopath says it is making ourselves ‘first equal’.
When we ensure our own needs are met, while respecting our nearest and dearest, we ensure that we better meet the needs of our children.
I call it Oxygen Time and happily, lots of it involves time outdoors in the wild, even if that’s in your garden or a green space on a tea break at work.
Make time for Oxygen Time
Oxygen is nature’s elixir of life – without it we die, obviously. Oxygen Time is my metaphor for the moments we create for ourselves to rejuvenate our bodies and reactivate our minds to feel more healthy and alive.
Whether we squeeze in a minute or a weekend, there are plenty of ways to help rejuvenate, invigorate and recharge that parenting battery.
These parenting hacks will help restore energy and balance in family life improving our interactions with our children and everyone else.
Enjoying myself (in joy in myself) breathing in a little happy air
There are dozens of ways of taking care of ourselves as women, men, parents. Here are some of my favourites.
Nature – of course!
Walk – in fresh air; up and down the street, in a park. Walk to school/work occasionally instead of driving. Gentle activity and exercise is good for the mind, body and soul. Just 5 minutes can make all the difference on a stressful day
Smile – Charles Darwin first suggested links between smiling and happiness but don’t take his word for it, just do it
Breathe– don’t hunch, imagine raising your ribcage a tiny fraction and gently breathe, widening your ribs rather than lifting your shoulders to inhale. Find some happy air to breathe in
Move – stressed-out wild animals often shake, stamp or leap around to clear stress hormones after fight, flight or freeze reflexes. Do the same! Shake, jump, trampoline, run upstairs. Or put on a CD and dance wildly for 5 minutes, just get active
Gardening – this gets us into the fresh air, directly connecting us with nature. It gets good bacteria under our nails and into our systems which is another reason that gardening is great for immunity. If you’re not green-fingered sit outside anywhere with your favourite cuppa
Look – find a view and soak it up. Staring into the distance relaxes the eyes, especially after close-up work. Try bird spotting or cloud gazing
Go barefoot – 5 minutes spent barefoot on grass helps relax and ground the body, connecting us with our natural rhythms. Try a barefoot walk at the beach.
Tea and a book – brew a herbal tea and read a chapter. Pukka are currently one of the few companies producing plastic-free teabags. Yes, plastic is everywhere; one of my pet hates.
Grown-up colouring – I re-discovered the relaxation of colouring when Caroline was old enough to start it and I have not been surprised since, at how quickly the market for grown-up colouring has expanded
Meditate – a calm mind = a happier outlook. A wise man once said “If you can’t make time to meditate for 5 minutes a day then meditate for 15 minutes.” Balance is a great App which is currently free for the first year, or try CDs at home, set up or join a group
Yoga – many yoga poses are based on animals or grounded in nature
Write – journalling is a great way to relax. Choose a topic and write for 10 minutes without stopping, whatever comes into your head
Sleep – set a 20 minute alarm, find somewhere quiet and take a nap. If you can’t nod off, just enjoy the solitude
Bathe – bring the ocean inside with a relaxing sea salt bath. I use Tidmans, Epsom or magnesium salts
Take a Shower – being a parent of the wild you’ll be outdoors lots and therefore showering lots too! Make this a mindful experience during even the briefest shower. Close your eyes and come up with a mantra e.g. ‘as I cleanse my body, so purify my mind and help me this day my……to find’ inserting whatever word comes to mind and letting it be your thought for the day. Mine is often ‘patience’! Why not try turning the heat down for a 60 second blast of cold water therapy after your shower?!
Light a fire – a recent day in the woods with like-minded parents reminded me how good it feels to make fire and cook outdoors. We made a shared pot-luck soup with ingredients brought by each family but there’s no reason not to light a mini fire in the garden just for you. Once you’ve got the skill, it’s a fun family activity that helps kids learn about risk and safety
Mindfulness – the link between all the above is mindfulness – taking a few moments to breathe, think about ourselves and make a brief, 5-minute change to our day
Time to go wild
Having personally struggled to claw back me-time without feeling guilty for ‘neglecting’ family life, I can honestly say wild (relaxed) Mums & Dads rock!
So what’s stopping you?
Get ready to close this blog
Choose something from the list above right now
Put down your phone
Go carve out some Oxygen Time for YOU!
Need the science on why getting outdoors is imperative for mental health and development? Read 11 reasons to get into the wild now
Join our Kids of the Wild clan
For more outdoor and nature inspiration don’t forget to sign up to the website to receive new posts as they are published and follow Kids of the Wild on Facebook and Instagram
Wild wishes for finding oxygen time in nature every day to keep energised and recharged for when parenting challenges mount up!
Get the gear
Click on the links for to buy some soul-soothing, me-time goodies!
Pukka plastic-free herbal teabags
Buy Pukka herbal tea here
The Lost Spells book
(perfect for reading in nature, more info here)
Buy The Lost Spells poetry anthology here
Epsom salts
Buy Epsom Salts here
Feel Better in 5 book
Buy Feel Better in 5 here
Happy Self Teens/Adult journal
(Caroline and I have used both of these journals and found them insightful and inspiring)
Happy Self Kids Journal
thats something I’ve always said ‘a happy parent, makes for happy kids’
Amen. Easier said than done though, a lot of the time.
I love this post. As someone who also had 3 kids in 3 years (allbeit I was in my early twenties) I get the need for oxygen , literal and metaphorical. Spoiler alert….once they’re teenagers it’s pretty plain sailing *touch wood…grabs lucky rabbits foot etc .
I’m a huge advocate of tea and a book and writing and adult colouring in too!! #blogcrush
Wow well done you, 3 in 3 years is hardcore! Glad the teens are more calm ..or shouldn’t I have said that out loud?!
Just this morning, I was experiencing parent fatigue. Both of my kids are sick and so all three of us are under “house arrest”. They’re both under four years old by the way. I needed to read this, I am so glad to come across your blog through #BlogCrush.
I hope you’re all feeling perky and vital again soon. It’s tough being stuck indoors with poorly little ones. Hopefully you can grab a few minutes oxygen time if they nod off?! Otherwise a film might do the trick! Thanks for reading and glad it’s been of use to you x
You’re absolutely right, I should spend more time on me, especially outside. I do exercise regularly but it’s not quite the same thing. #blogcrush
Exercise is a great start though. We need more outdoor gyms, perhaps if we had more predictable weather! Thanks for reading
I have to say I do love to go barefoot, particularly at my Mum’s where there is lots of grass and fields of animals around to listen to! #blogcrush
Sounds wonderful – I try to get on the lawn every day but it can be blooming cold in a winter frost! Thanks for stopping by
Totally agree, we need to take that time. It can be sooo exhausting looking after toddlers the entire week, with no break. They have an infinite reserve of energy… until they run out and then they have a meltdown. When they finally sleep is the only time we have to work and then before you know it they’re awake again and you haven’t slept enough! Taking the time to recharge is a really sensible thing to do and I hope I can do it as well. For some reason really like the bare feet thing when walking in parks too 🙂 #blogcrush
Love your ethos on shared parenting and great to hear from you, your blogs look fab, I need more time to read all this great stuff! I’d be barefoot everywhere if I could
Such wise words. I love the idea of Oxygen Time – I might be stealing that phrase! And I also like your way of saying “find some happy air to breathe in”. I definitely feel better when I’ve been outside and try to get out everyday with the kids, even when it’s pouring with rain. #blogcrush
Thanks Lucy, I need to push the Oxygen Time thing as I love the phrase too!
This is such a great read Lucy. When my kids were very small I was terrible at taking time out for myself but I’m learning that me taking care of myself benefits the whole family. I’m learning the importance of replenishing the cup! And, I too am a massive fan of colouring in and doodling! 😊
It’s interesting that so many of us find it hard to take time for ourselves and it takes so long to learn it. Social conditioning I guess. Love your date hike weekends too!
I’ve wanted to rad this post for a long time, and I’m so happy you just shared it on #CountryKids! Funnily enough, I really needed to read this today. The past month has been hectic and often stressful, so much that for the first time in years, we didn’t celebrate Midsummer outdoors this weekend. So now I’m going to follow your advice and go for a nap! Here’s to Oxygen Time!
Well that was a connection needing to be made as the reason I posted it is because we didn’t celebrate midsummer outside either this year either! I was feeling really under par but thought ‘you know, we don’t have to do all these special celebrations just because of the time of year, we sometimes need to take some time for the things we actually need in the moment.’ Glad it reached you anyway, we’re obviously on a solstice wavelength! Wild wishes for some calm in the madness xx
What a fabulous post!! I love the oxygen mask analogy! It’s a bit like the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup!” #CountryKids
Absolutely. So much common sense but so difficult to achieve in reality.
I love this reminder of the importance of making time for ourselves too and oxygen time is such a great way to describe it. It’s funny how it can be so difficult sometimes to make that time and recharge our own batteries a little – even just a few minutes can make all the difference. Getting out for a walk, writing or singing tend to be my ways of getting oxygen time but I’ve got a few more ideas now of other ways that I can grab a little moment for myself too 🙂 #CountryKids
Thanks for this Louise, way back in July last year. For some reason a lot of unread comments have just popped up in my feed!
Some really good tips, I’m off tomorrow for a few days walking with my best friend, I might even get a lie in, can’t remember what one of those is! #countrykids
Hope you enjoyed that lie in many months ago. For some reason this was marked as an unread comment and only just popped up in my feed!
I wanted to monitor my partner’s whatsapp remotely he was in different city so i cannot touch his phone, I wanted someone who can perform the work remotely and give me access to his cellphone. REMOTEMOBILEACCESS🟡Com was a perfect solution, they dont charge you anything in advance they fully explain you how they can do it, you can check their website for more details REMOTEMOBILEACCESS🟢COM